Empathy is the Cure
In this melting pot of a world, it seems as though many people are losing track of the significance of words and language. Words are impactful. They have the power to uplift or defeat. They have the power to mislead or inform. They have the power to rapidly deteriorate or promote growth. There is extensive scientific research that shows the consequences of negativity and the benefits of positivity. Either way, how language is constructed affects both the speaker and the listener. Psychological violence has the detrimental effect of causing mental health problems. There is a direct correlation between this psychological warfare and PTSD, depression, and anxiety. More specifically, psychological violence increased the risk of PTSD and emotional and verbal violence triggered a strong association with depression. Word choice and structure cause certain areas of the brain to be activated. Every time we give significance to our emotions by assigning words to them, the neural regions of our brains begin to process the semantics. Reactivity in the amygdala, the area of the brain responsible for emotional regulation and the sorting of emotional stimuli showcases the effect of how we process negative and positive words.
A basic function of language is to express oneself but not everyone learns how to do this in a meaningful and respectful way. What we say and how we express ourselves could impact those our words are directed towards for a lifetime. Think back to the most meaningful thing someone ever said to you, whether it be negative or positive. How long ago did that statement happen? Does it still affect you today? How we convey our emotions, feelings, attitudes, and experiences should be consciously navigated not just blurted out. What we say has the power to transform the reality of others. Words have energy and that force can be used to encourage someone to persevere or dismantle the reserve of a struggling individual.
The English language has one of the most complicated syntax structures in all written and oral phraseology. But simple vocabulary seems to evade the general public. The issue that I’m having is with two simple but meaningful words: sympathy and empathy. Sympathy means feeling sorrow or compassion for another individual. It is akin to pity. You feel sorry for that person and/or their circumstances. Many people find this sentiment insulting. They don’t want to be pitied. Others thrive off of this emotion. They are fueled by the “woe is me” mentality. Empathy, on the other hand, is when you truly understand the individual and their experiences. You identify with the other person on a deeply psychological level. You vicariously experience the situation and emotions being expressed by another person. Everyone appreciates empathy. This type of connection intensifies validation and acceptance. This approach to interacting with people shows a rooted humanitarian perspective of life. To truly empathize, one must disassociate from their personal opinion and relate wholeheartedly and nonjudgmentally with another person’s plight or condition. This is a value that seems vastly underused and underappreciated. All it takes is a simple glance at a social media feed to see that there is rampant bullying, prejudice, offensive language, and ignorant opinions being circulated.
Socio-emotional awareness is a very simple concept that seems to have been lost to the adult world. The basics involve being aware of one’s emotions, regulating our behavior based on our emotions, and being aware of how our emotions make us behave and react to others. Empathy has three basic components: feeling what others feel, understanding what others think, and taking action to help others. These are cognitive, behavioral, and emotional domains that need to be attended to in order to empathize. We all can harness and cultivate empathy. By doing so, we can authentically connect. We can reduce, limit, defuse, and eventually eliminate unnecessary conflict. We can build stronger, more intimate relationships. Empathy can be experienced cognitively, emotionally, or somatically. For example, when you can genuinely understand someone else's point of view you are using cognitive empathy. Your mind is constructing the circumstances of another appropriately and without judgment. When you are talking to a friend or loved one and they begin to cry and you begin to cry, this is an example of emotional empathy. You truly feel the struggle that person is enduring. The latter is most commonly experienced by healthcare professionals and the like. Those individuals, with their knowledge and expertise, express somatic empathy when they are able to look at a person and/or barely touch a person and know what is physically ailing them. They can sense the physical anguish. But I want to emphasize the fact that empathy is not just for professionals or parents or teachers. If everyone behaved and spoke from a place of empathy, the world would be a kinder and more pleasant place for humanity.
Empathy is an umbrella mechanism that can open the doors to more virtues. Understanding, Cooperation, Acceptance, Kindness, Tolerance, and Collaboration all need a foundation of Empathy to be successful. Being open to new ideas and experiences allows us to interpret humanity and the world around us from a new perspective. Empathy as a principle fosters prosocial behaviors that will benefit every interaction. Empathy is a combatant for aggression, misunderstanding, selfishness, greed, judgment, and a cornucopia of other negative behaviors and reactions. Empathy has a positive correlation with improved attitudes towards stigmatized and marginalized groups reducing the effects of racism, prejudice, and discrimination. Expressing empathy can validate another's feelings and experiences. These are crucial aspects of improving interpersonal connections and relationships.
I live by the motto that, “The only way to a happier, healthier, more inspired society is to operate with knowledge learned from education and experience and expressing authentic empathy.” You cannot look at a person and know what they have gone through to get them from point A to point B. You cannot understand a person if you take what they are saying at the minimal level of interpretation or surface value. You cannot change the way you view an experience if you do not walk in the shoes of someone who was there. Be willing to grow and expand your world of understanding. Be willing to challenge yourself to step outside the normative thought process. Be willing to establish a common playing field between you and someone you think is the polar opposite. Be willing to step outside your comfort zone. Be aware of your personal bias. Be aware of your triggers. Be aware of your intimate walls. Ask open-ended questions and expose yourself to things that you couldn’t previously imagine. Only then will we be able to harness the power of empathy. Only then will we be able to translate appropriate responses that don’t harm the psyche and well-being of others. Walk a mile in your enemy's shoes and then tell them that you love them. Walk a mile in your opposite’s shoes and then tell them you understand. Walk a mile in your mother's shoes and then tell her you’re sorry. Walk a mile in the shoes of someone different and accept who that person is because of what they have experienced. This is how we transcend this circumstance of pity, bias, prejudice, and hate. This is how we use the beautiful languages we were gifted the intellect to interpret to procreate a better, more positive world. Empathy is the Cure to the rot of negativity, antagonism, hostility, deprecation, unrest, and adversity.
For more reading on the power of words read this Goop article: https://goop.com/wellness/mindfulness/the-scary-power-of-negative-words/
